Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Movie Review: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter


Based on Seth Grahame-Smith's novel of the same name, ALVH is quite a dragging and lackluster adaptation of terrific and original source material. Set throughout Lincoln's life, VH begins as Lincoln was a boy. He sees a friend being beaten by a slave owner, and decides to take action, leading to the death of his mother by vampire. We cut to his teenage years, where he has vowed to kill the man that caused the death of his mother. He meets Henry, who saves him from said vampire, and then trains him to, yes, hunt vampires. Henry makes Lincoln vow to sever all personal connections, and never become serious with anyone ever again. So Lincoln is sent to a provincial little town, where he proceeds to kill several vampires at the order of Henry. He then meets Mary Todd, and they get married within 15 minutes. We then skip to Lincoln becoming President. He is now an older gentleman, who has since gotten rid of all his vampire hunting materials. The Civil War is looming, and the south decides to hire vampires in order to beat the north at Gettysburg. So Lincoln decides to ransack all the houses in Washington, and melt all the silver available, then put it all on a train to the south, all of which only takes a day apparently. The silver is delivered by the Underground Railroad, much to the dismay of the "Elder Vampire" who invaded the supposed silver train. The vampires (and south) are defeated at Gettysburg. The movie ends with Lincoln heading off to the theater with Mary Todd (a scene that actually made me chuckle. It was rather silly how the filmmakers presented it.) And that's the end of the movie. 

Overall, this was just a very hard movie to enjoy. Benjamin Walker does well as Lincoln, commandeering all of Lincoln's bravura in his speeches and actions. Most of the other performances were very one dimensional, without any development throughout the course of the film. The movie was so rushed, that it was hard to keep up with what was going on. One thing would happen, then another thing that made you completely forget about what just did happen. There was a Harriet Tubman cameo that was blink and you'll miss it, which could have greatly enhanced the story. There were some enjoyable scenes, mainly when vampires were involved. The action scenes were great, but they were very few and far in-between. I also think that the movie took itself a *little* too seriously. It's a rewritten history story, but it was very muddled, and didn't make much sense. The original novel was great, inventive writing, but this adaptation was just stale. I expected much more. For people who have not read the novel, it may be entertaining. What a shame. 

Rating: C

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